Hangers&Hangers

The school year is quickly approaching and your athlete will soon be dividing their attention between their sport(s) and their schoolwork.  With practices during the week and meets/games on weekends, add in violin lessons, and you worry they will not be able to keep up.  Balancing schoolwork, sports and other activities is one of your child’s biggest challenges.  Never fear…. it can be done! 

One of the first things you need to do is sit down and explain & help set priorities with your child.  Make a list of the various parts of your child’s life and go over the importance of each.  By explaining the importance of each element of your child’s life, they will be able to prioritize more easily.  Guide them and help them make and set their own path.  After family, children should know that school comes first.  Sports, although a huge part of most kid’s lives, should come after family and school.  Most children agree that family is a priority but as parents, it is our job to make sure they know and understand that school must come before sports.  If your child objects, the best thing to do is explain that college scholarships and pro contracts are extremely remote.  As parents we need to allow kids to pursue their dreams but convey the importance of education.  At times, this can be a difficult balancing act.

Once priorities are set you should help your child create daily, weekly and season-long schedules.  Begin by writing down all activities in order of importance and the time each will consume, include fixed time periods for homework.  Be sure to include driving time and meals in your schedule.  Once you have a realistic picture of the amount of time needed, help your child work out a schedule.  It is a good practice to turn off television and not answer phones during homework times.  If time remains after finishing homework or a particular fixed period, children should get in the habit of reading or addressing future assignments.

Open communication between coaches, teachers, parents and athletes is essential for maintaining a proper balance between sports and school.  It helps if everyone is on the same page on a daily and long term basis.  It is a tremendous help if both teacher and coach know what the student is doing when not with them.  By knowing the athlete’s schedule, coaches, parents and teachers can plan accordingly.  Parents should let coaches know as soon as possible if an athlete will miss a practice or competition because of school.  Conversely, parents should alert teachers if a student may be tired or not on their “A” game following a long weekend of competitions or practices.

It should be clearly conveyed to all student athletes that participating in a sports program is a privilege and not a right.  Athletes should understand that meeting their responsibilities both on & off the field, and in & out of the classroom is essential.  Sometimes parents have to make tough calls, such as limiting the number of extra curricular activities or holding a student out if they are not keeping up with their schoolwork. 

Balancing the demands of school and sports is not easy, but can be beneficial.  Children will benefit by developing time-management skills, goal setting and prioritizing techniques.  These skills will not only help your child study and play better, but will serve as life-long lessons.  Lessons that will pay off long after his/her days as a student-athlete are over.

1.   Make sure your child knows that win or lose, scared or heroic, you love him/her and appreciate his/her efforts and are not disappointed.

2.  Try your best to be completely honest about your child’s athletic capability, their competitive attitude, sportsmanship and actual skill level.

3.  Be helpful, but don’t coach him/her on the way to the gym, on the way home, at breakfast, and so on.

4.  Teach your athlete to enjoy the thrill of competition, to be out there trying, to be working to improve their skills and attitudes, to take the physical bumps and come back for more.

5.  Try not to relive your athletic life through your child in a way that creates pressure. You fumbled too, lost as well as won, were frightened, backed off at times, and you were not always heroic. Don’t pressure your child because of YOUR pride.

6.  Don’t compete with the coaches. Remember that in many cases, a coach becomes a hero to the athlete, someone who can do no wrong

7.  Don’t compare the skill, courage or attitudes of your child with that of other members of their team. If your child shows a tendency to resent the treatment they get from the coach or the approval other team members get, be careful to talk over the facts quietly and try to provide fair and honest counsel.

8.  Get to know the coaches so that you can be assured that their philosophy, attitude, ethics and knowledge are such that you are happy to expose your child to them

9.  Don’t over-react and rush off to the coach if you feel that an injustice has been done. Investigate, but anticipate that the problem is not as it might appear.

10.  Make a point of understanding courage and the fact that it is relative. There are different kinds of courage. Some of us can climb mountains but are afraid to get into a fight; others can fight, but turn to jelly if a bee approaches. Everyone is frightened in certain areas. Nobody escapes fear and that is just as well, since it
often helps us avoid disaster.

There is a line between challenging athletes and protecting them. I think all of us know that we can each do more when we are challenged. One of the definitions of being challenged is to test one’s ability to handle a difficult task. We do this in sports. We do this in life. Teachers do this in school. Bosses do this in business. To challenge is to inspire a person to do more than they normally would.

We understand that challenges come with a little stress and even uncertainty of succeeding. We think this is good, we all need to be challenged from time to time. If we all “sit in our comfortable place” I wonder how much would get done and how far we would advance. In sports I think most parents want us to challenge their athletes. Runners can run faster, hitters can hit farther, gymnasts can vault higher.

One of our goals as coaches is to challenge our athletes to reach their potential. It is our job to get these athletes to push through their perceived limitations or comfort zone and get them to the next level. At times little Sammy may come home saying that his hands hurt from doing High Bar too much or Julie may complain in the car ride home that she had to do too many beam routines. Should you be worried? Do we keep an eye on things so that the coaches don’t go overboard? Of course. Our staff strives to achieve positive and reasonable results, and in doing so, are very careful.

The true challenge for our coaching staff is not just the physical aspects of gymnastics. Your son or daughter is talented. They can do the things they are asked. The bigger problem we see is the psychological side. Certain skills can be a scary undertaking. Fear is certainly a factor in their success. Not knowing their limitations or capabilities can make some athletes uncomfortable.

Most athletes I have coached don’t know what their limits are. We have to show them what is possible. Just like parenting. You must show them the way. Are the kids happy to be challenged? Not always. The mental side may cause your athlete to come home upset at times. “The coach didn’t let me do my back handspring today” or “The coach made me do my back handspring today.”
You have to believe in the coach. Our staff knows what needs to be done or who needs to be challenged. Many athletes may think that they are doing just fine when in reality they have not set their standards high enough. We ask that you believe and trust the coaching staff.

When you are challenged, mentally and physically, and you succeed… you become more confident. An athlete performs better when they are confident. They will become not just better athletes but better people.

I know that parents love to be involved.  Helping out at the gym , setting up a carpool or helping to run a competition is one thing but there comes a point when you have to let your child experience the sport in its entirety!  I am sure your child knows that gymnastics and cheerleading are activities that are important to both of you.  However, you must beware of the pitfalls of becoming over-involved.  You don’t  want to alter the relationships that naturally develop between the athletes, and between the coaches and athletes.

Try to remain the support mechanism for your child.  You are there to help ensure that they are learning the right lessons, there to help ensure that they are enjoying themselves.  But for the most part, avoid becoming a spokesperson for your child.  Avoid becoming your child’s lawyer.  Teach your child to deal with situations head on, and report on them later to a parent, rather than expect the parent to ”fix” whatever comes up.  Remember, most importantly, that you are the supporter of your CHILD and the sport belongs to them.   The competitions belong to your child.   The workouts and practices belong to your child.   The career belongs to your child.  You are an observer, a supporter, and their biggest fan!  Many parents blur the lines between supporting their athlete, and working to help their athlete’s career.

This brings up the concept of coaching at home.  In the world of, say, baseball, to play catch with your child, or to bring him or her to the batting cages is one thing.   But, to work on specific plays, or teach your child when to steal a base, is quite another.  Now, you have wandered from putting your child in a situation where he or she can work on skills, to a situation where you are teaching the skills.

Skill development is the responsibility of the coach.  In the world of gymnastics and cheerleading, the lines are even simpler.  If you find yourself telling your child that she is performing a skill incorrectly, or if you find yourself suggesting that your child take some time to practice at home, then you are coaching.  If you are spotting a skill in your living room, you have crossed the line.  If you find yourself coaching your child from the outside windows of the gym, then you have crossed the line.

One of the most important parts of dealing with an athlete, is accepting the program in which he or she is enrolled.  You wouldn’t  sign a child up for a math program, and then confuse her by telling her that things aren’t being taught right.  Similarly, at The Gym-Nest, you are in a program that stresses flexibility, strength, repetition, and basics.  It is important that you are in full understanding of that approach.  If a question arises, there is nothing wrong with telling your child to ask her coach why?

There is, however, a problem with telling your child that she is doing something the wrong way, or the program is wrong for her.  If you find yourself saying these sorts of things, you should evaluate our program, and decide if it is right for you and your daughter.  At the Gym-Nest emphasis is always made on effort vs. results.   Are you the type of person who celebrates victories, or are you the type who celebrates a good competition?  Can you recognize the difference between a competition where your daughter fell off beam 3 times, yet wins the meet, and a competition where she performs her best routines, but places 3^rd?   Can you recognize the difference between your daughter not hitting her handspring and the team hitting every stunt?

Sports, inherently, celebrate the results.    First place is the winner, and nobody else wins that day. However, to ensure that sports are helping your child to develop, you must recognize their efforts.    You must recognize improvement.  You must recognize successes, in every form, not just in trophies,  banners, and gold medals.

A good competitive environment will teach your athlete that results and first place finishes & trophies are by products of effort and commitment.  Echo this sentiment!

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